How to Have the Hard Conversation About Suicide

Written By Ashlee Owens

It can be difficult to have an honest conversation with someone if you suspect they are struggling with suicidal thoughts or feelings, or if they come to you expressing suicidal ideation. However, if you have some conversation tools in hand, hopefully the conversation will be productive, and you are confident in knowing that you helped. 

First, let them know you are listening and supporting them. Show them you are being attentive and taking them seriously. In your own way, make sure they know that you are there with them, and care.  

Encourage them to keep talking. Let them know that you want to hear about how they are feeling, and what they are going through. Listen actively and be curious and interested in the details. 

Ask them about changes in their life and how they are coping. Find out how long they have been feeling this way and if any changes in their life have contributed to their feelings.  

Be direct if you suspect they are thinking about suicide. Trust your gut and ask the hard question - Are you thinking about suicide or ending your life? Research shows that you cannot put the idea in their head, and chances are that the person will feel relieved that you care enough to ask. 

Stay calm and take the lead of the person. This can be an overwhelming conversation for the person, so if they need to take a break respect that need.  

If the person is not in imminent or immediate danger, suggest seeking professional help from a licensed clinician. Offer to help connect them with a therapist, and if the person is not ready yet, be patient and do not push too hard (afsp.com). 

Remind them that you are here for them and that you care about them. Leave the conversation with a plan to follow up with them via text, call, email, etc.  

If the person is in immediate danger: 

  • Stay with them. 

  • Remove lethal means. 

  • Call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Text TALK to 741741 to reach a trained crisis counselor from the Suicide Crisis Lifeline 24/7 

  • Call the Bozeman Help Center 406-586-3333 

  • Encourage them to seek help from their doctor or therapist 

  • Call 911

For more information and resources about suicide visit www.afsp.org.  

Laura Cole, MSW, LCSW

Reference

If Someone Is Thinking About Suicide #RealConvo Guide | AFSP. (n.d.). American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. https://talkawaythedark.afsp.org/thinkingaboutsuicide/ 

Ashlee Owens
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