Book Review: What My Bones Know
The book, What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo, is a memoir of Stephanie’s journey to understand and heal from childhood abuse and trauma. The book is split up in to 4 parts:
Her experience of receiving a diagnosis of “Complex PTSD” and how it impacted her
The history of her childhood and what contributed this diagnosis
Her attempts and journey of self discovery and healing
Her process of finding the right supports that helped her integrate everything before
Stephanie sheds light on what can happen when we receive a diagnosis, but also explores the very real interpersonal chaos that often ensues when you begin the healing process. She does not hold back when explaining the reasons she left some of her clinicians and doctors, which can help professionals to be aware of what clients may be going through when they walk through our doors.
Her memoir does not end on a bad note, but rather she gives us a glimpse of what sessions look like when clients are given the space to be human. She emphasizes the benefit of having a therapist be human with her, calling out their own mistakes, or saying where you’re going with this before so she didn’t feel as though she had to have a certain answer. She truly wrote every detail of her hurt, her healing, and her ability to regain agency for herself.
In my own journey of reading this book I frequently felt goosebumps reading her response to various interactions with healthcare professionals. I felt the book gave me, as a therapist, a perspective that all of us should be given and the reality of the very real chaos that can come from a diagnosis. The book also allows us as readers to understand that despite a doctor or therapist having the training, it does not make any of us superhuman. Providers are just like everyone else and when one forgets that, it can leave your client feeling harmed by your attempt at healing.
When we do not listen and attune to the person across from us we hold the power to do real damage. On the other hand, when you meet someone where they are and remain as human as they are, you have the chance to truly connect. Connection with a caring human holds just as much power. Stephanie gave me an easy to read story that not only helped me in my own personal life but helped me become a better therapist.
It is my opinion that this book is absolutely worth recommending and is a must read for anyone. For those who have childhood trauma and are wandering in life feeling like you are attempting to fill a void, this can give you a guide on what could help but what you may also expect and if you do, your thoughts and feelings are valid. For those who are in a helping profession, you can gain incredible insight to the struggle our clients face when they show up to heal. I believe this memoir can be read to give us all a better understanding of how we can be a person that others can open up to. I would easily give this book 5 stars!