Journeying Through Grief: Understanding and Navigating the Waves of Sorrow
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” – C.S. Lewis.
Grief. That gnawing, aching, paralyzing sorrow. The feeling of helplessness. The sensation of powerlessness to change things, to make them better. Regret. The longing to turn back time and do things differently. It's like being sad all the time and feeling burdensome to others.
The Nature of Grief
Grief brings the desire to be alone and process, or to isolate. It is the yearning for empathy and comfort while being unable to be fully present to those offering solace. The struggle to comfort others who are grieving too, because your own grief feels so overwhelming. The all-consuming sadness and the inevitable tears.
The Waves of Grief
Grief is a constant presence, much like waves crashing in the ocean. Sometimes the waves are enormous and difficult to ride through, while other times, they are light and almost rhythmic. Each wave brings with it a different intensity, a different emotion, and a different challenge.
Questions and Reflections
In the midst of grief, we find ourselves questioning everything:
What happens next?
How do we move on from here?
How do we rejoin the land of the living?
Will we ever be the same, or will we just exist with a piece of us gone or broken?
How do we find ourselves again?
How do we move forward and find joy and happiness?
How do we get this big, heavy, dark cloud to lift from our hearts?
How do we laugh again?
Is it selfish to let go and be happy?
How do we love again?
How do we face life without being afraid to lose?
The Path Forward
I think the answer is simply one day at a time. We must give ourselves permission to experience the full range of grief and all it offers. We acknowledge the heartache and sorrow, the hole that is left. We cry when we need to cry, we sleep when we need to sleep, and we bring ourselves wherever we go.
Acceptance and Honesty
We don’t try to mask the pain; we are honest with others about where we are at. We pay attention to our bodies and nourish ourselves when needed. We give ourselves grace and accept that our best will look different each day. We try where we can and accept where we can’t.
The Choice to Live Again
We understand that in time, we must choose to let go to live again. We may not be able to change what happened, but we can still be happy. The journey through grief is a personal and unique experience for everyone. It is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to embrace the pain while seeking the light.
Conclusion
Grief is a testament to the love and connection we shared with those we have lost. It is a journey that reshapes us, challenges us, and ultimately strengthens us. By giving ourselves the grace to grieve, we also give ourselves the opportunity to heal and find joy once more. One day at a time, we move forward, carrying the memories of our loved ones in our hearts, and embracing the possibility of happiness and love again.