Screen Time and Mental Health for Our Children
As parents we have a never-ending list of choices to make, factors to consider, and tasks to accomplish. Adding in screen time for ourselves and our children and how family systems address this issue is another thing on that list. Choosing how screen time looks for your child can be exhausting and overwhelming especially because it’s like many other topics in life, in that, it can have some positive benefits and some negative outcomes as well.
According to an article from the National Library of Medicine, “Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development: An Updated Review and Strategies for Management”, screens have the potential to improve education and learning; however, too much time spent in front of a screen can lead to poor executive functioning and poor academic performance. Additionally, excessive screen usage has detrimental effects on social and emotional growth, including a rise in the likelihood of obesity, sleep disorders, and mental health conditions including depression and anxiety. It is shown to decrease our ability to identify emotion in ourselves and others and decrease in our ability to express our emotions in healthy ways.
What Can We Do?
Some important steps include setting screen time boundaries, utilizing parental controls, and role modeling good screen behavior as parents and caregivers. We can reduce the possible negative impacts of excessive screen time and promote our children's healthy development and well-being by increasing our awareness and understanding of the issue and encouraging alternative activities that are healthy for child development.
Think about your child’s overall wellness. Rather than counting the number of minutes they watch TV or scroll social media, consider how they spend their free time.
Do my children have a well-balanced diet?
Do my children get heart-healthy exercise and fresh air on a daily basis?
How are they doing in school?
Do my children have friends and a social group?
What hobbies and interests do my children have?
Screen time can be one aspect of their lives and when, as a parent, we can answer many of these questions with positive answers, we can know that screen time is one aspect of their lives, not their primary focus. And if the reverse is true, that a child is isolated on their phone in their room behind closed doors much of the time, playing video games in every spare moment or appear fixated on their relationship with their device, this is a huge concern.
Set reasonable limits. Consider the quality of the screen time. What can they report to you about it? How do they use their screen time and how do they feel about themselves when they’re off the device?
Find out more about what they like to do with screen time. Are they researching things? Are they staying connected to their peer group? Some of their choices are likely to be things you can support and understand because you enjoy them as well.
Start with compassion and empathy. Let them know you understand that they want to be able to relax and take a break with a screen sometimes and that that’s okay.
Brainstorm alternatives. We often expect kids to find the replacement for the screen time and they may need help. You can create an activities list or brainstorm things you can do to support their alternative choice.
Emphasize connection and model healthy screen use. Have set times when screens are away. Some examples include during family meals or after 8 pm and then follow them yourself to model how important the rule is for your family.
Stay the course. This means that following through on the rules and consequences are very important.
Don’t debate the rules once in place. If and when they need to change, which they will based on the age and stage of your child, be intentional and do it on your own terms as a parent and when the temperature of the room is ready for the conversation.
Avoid being sucked into a guilt trip. Yes, their friends will have less screen time rules. Yes, you know that they want to be able to call you when they want to change the plan. There are ways around this and it’s important to keep your rules for your family based on your values and expectations, not what other families do.
Be easy on yourself and your children. You’re doing a great job, you’re adapting to an ever changing world, and you are tackling this issue because you care and want to do the right thing.
Screens are a tool and a toy and navigating how to incorporate them into your family while maintaining communication, connection, good mental health, and lots of fun is a big task. We are here to help. Reach out to Advanced Counseling Bozeman anytime if you’d like support addressing this aspect of well-being for you or your family.
Rachel Brown, MSW, SWLC
References
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10353947/
https://childmind.org/article/screen-time-during-the-coronavirus-crisis/
https://www.christinecarter.com/the-new-adolescence/