Navigating Political Discussions this Holiday Season

Today’s political climate becomes increasingly divisive and stressful to discuss, especially in elections cycles. Many people have felt greatly affected by political discussions with family members and have had to navigate intense conflicts and tension, setting strong boundaries and incorporating self-care through these stressors. This can make the holiday season stressful knowing that you are entering spaces or discussions with some family members that could potentially feel unsafe or threatening. Many people are anticipating these stressful conversations with family members this year on both political sides, here are some helpful tips on how to navigate during the holidays:

Setting Boundaries

There are many ways to set boundaries around political discussions, consider the situation or conversation that would feel triggering for you and identify what certain boundaries work best for you. Setting a boundary prior to the holiday with family members may be helpful to prepare you and your family for what you are and are not willing to engage in this year. For example, prior to the Holiday sending a message to loved ones of, “This year I am looking forward to our time together as a family and value the little time we have together, I do not want to spend this time fighting about politics. I am asking for us to spend our time discussing other important things going on in our lives”. You can also propose an if... then boundary. For example, “If this x issue gets brought up, then I am choosing to disengage from the conversation by leaving the room or leaving the house if necessary”. Remember that you can set boundaries with yourself as well to support this stressor. An example of this is being honest with yourself if you are really able to spend time with certain family members this year and not pushing yourself to spend time with certain people out of obligation. Know that setting and following through on boundaries is uncomfortable and difficult for most, if needing additional support on this it is recommended to talk to a professional further about what would work best for you and your mental health.

Self-Care and Self Soothing

There are many ways to incorporate self-care and self-soothing to support yourself through this stressor as well. Bathroom breaks are your friend here! Take as many little breaks as you need throughout these discussions if you feel yourself beginning to get dysregulated. Self-care could also look like staying at a hotel instead of a family member’s house if you have the resources to do so; This can support time and space to yourself to practice self-care after these discussions. Self-care or self-soothing can also look like finding safety cues in the environment, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation techniques, gentle stretching or movement after these discussions, acknowledging your emotions, and limiting your consumption of political news as needed.

Leaning into your Community

It can feel very isolating when it feels that you do not align with your family’s belief system or world view during the holiday season. If this is the case for you, it is important to lean into your community where you feel supported and validated, even if that means that you don’t all have the exact same beliefs. This could look like volunteering for a cause that you care about, making sure to stay in contact with close friends over the Holidays, focusing your attention and connection time with those family members who feel safe to disagree with and joining online support communities that are focused on supporting one another with family dynamic or political stressors.

Jamie Lingenfelter, BSW, MSW, SWLC

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Healthy Coping During the Holidays: Tips for Managing Stress and Staying Balanced