Managing the Holidays

Stress and the holiday season seem to go together for most people. For many the holidays are loaded with expectations, grief and a time of family and work pressures. While the hope is that we can enjoy this time of year, how we do that might better be managed with some thinking ahead and making a plan to set ourselves up for a better experience.

For starters, it is ok to set boundaries and decide what you can realistically, and what you want to handle in terms of obligations. Perhaps sitting down and deciding what you can attend, for example, and how you might politely excuse yourself from all or part of an event can help you go into the season without feeling overwhelmed. Doing this ahead of time will hopefully allow you to let go of that worry. 

Wanting to be a part of family and friendship gatherings while making note of when one’s social battery is getting low is an important way to stay grounded during the holiday chaos. Planning “micro-restorative breaks,” throughout your days will go a long way to both allowing you to recharge and be present. Some examples might be going out for a short walk, calling a friend, or taking a reading or short TV break. These breaks don’t have to be long, they just need to feel like true breaks.

If you are coordinating a lot of kitchen, shopping, cooking and hosting, it is really helpful to communicate with friends and family ahead of time what the expectations are, essentially who will be doing what. Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and negative feelings, so anyway to get everyone on the same page together will help, and keeps one person from carrying the majority of the responsibilities if possible.

Finally, conflict, uncomfortable subjects and fatigue are all a part of holiday hoopla. As with any uncomfortable situation, pausing before reacting, agreeing to disagree, being empathetic and maybe even changing the subject can go a long way in keeping things amicable and manageable over the holidays.

Think about what your expectations are, what pressures you may be experiencing from external messaging about what holidays and interactions are supposed to look like, and perhaps reframe your expectations to match your situation and reality, there’s no one way to have an enjoyable holiday, you have a choice in the matter. If you can show up and be present and plan ahead for potential bumps in the road, hopefully you’ll have a calm and happy season.

Kathleen Byrne, MA, EdS, MEd, PCLC

Reference

https://wapo.st/3VtQTKn