How to Interact with Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
People with Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) may be unable to see its signs and symptoms in themselves. It is often that family, friends, or loved ones may be the first to suspect someone has NPD. The term narcissism has become an everyday word to describe someone who is ‘over -the-top' and who tends to think highly of themselves. With more awareness around this diagnosis, it may be easier to recognize when someone in our lives exhibits these types of behaviors (Psychology Today, n.d.).
The following are some symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
“Believing that you're better than others.
Fantasizing about power, success, and attractiveness.
Exaggerating your achievements or talents.
Expecting constant praise and admiration.
Believing that you're special and acting accordingly.
Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings” (When Dealing with a Narcissist, the “Gray Rock” Approach Might Help | Psychology Today, n.d.).
If you suspect someone you care about has NPD, you should keep in mind the following:
“You can’t change someone with NPD. Their behavior is not your fault, and you can only encourage them to seek out care. Ultimately, the decision is theirs to want to change their behaviors.
Stay calm and don’t take things personally. People with NPD may try to antagonize or draw a reaction, especially when lashing out. Don’t take it personally.
Set healthy boundaries. People with NPD often consciously or unconsciously try to get what they want by going to others. If you have a loved one with NPD, setting healthy boundaries may be necessary. Make sure you communicate what you’re willing and unwilling to do, and hold fast once you set boundaries. It may be difficult, but giving in to their demands won’t help (and may make things worse).
Protect yourself. People with NPD often resort to gaslighting (trying to convince you that either you or they said or did something differently) to undermine your boundaries. Keep notes or a journal if you think you’ll need to be certain in the future about what you said or did. They may also lash out (either verbally or physically) out of anger. Be sure to protect your own health and well-being.
Take care of your own mental health. People who have loved ones with NPD should consider seeing a mental health professional also. Doing so can help you better work through your own emotions and difficulties surrounding NPD, and better prepare you for how to deal with the effects of this condition in a loved one.
Don’t ignore warning signs. People with NPD have a higher risk of dying by suicide. If you suspect a loved one with NPD is withdrawing or considering harming themselves, talk to them directly. Call 911 (or your local emergency services number) immediately if you think they’re in imminent danger” (Cleveland Clinic, 2014).
Laura Cole, MSW, LCSW
References
Cleveland Clinic. (2014). Narcissistic Personality Disorder | Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic; Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9742-narcissistic-personality-disorder
When Dealing With a Narcissist, the “Gray Rock” Approach Might Help | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved August 21, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-time-cure/202211/when-dealing-narcissist-the-gray-rock-approach-might-help